|LOVE & SEX
» February 2009
What's in a Kiss?
What's in a kiss? Apparently, a lot. When I saw Julia Roberts' Pretty Woman years ago, I never understood her philosophy about how a kiss was too intimate an act for her to engage in with a stranger, yet prostituting herself wasn't as big of a deal.
Throughout college, I witnessed friends and classmates recklessly getting drunk at nightclubs and house parties, and eventually making out with a stranger or two by the end of the night. As for me, I was in a serious relationship throughout the entirety of my college career. In fact, I was so in love that I had eyes for no one else but him. Sure, I had kissed a few boys here and there before meeting my Prince Charming, but after him, it was never the same again. Kissing him was a world of difference from kissing any other boy. It had so much meaning, passion, emotion, and most of all chemistry.
Unfortunately, the relationship came to an abrupt end after some years when my Prince Charming decided he wanted to go kiss a few other girls himself. I gave my Cheating Prince Charming the boot and was left to nurture a severely shattered heart. After a few weeks of putting the pieces back together, I finally ventured out of my nest. Now ladies, as we all know, a gal's got "needs." And after her heart's been broken, she sure as hell also needs to fuel her self confidence. Well, after a wild night out with some friends, I found myself canoodling under a blanket with a boy that had been an acquaintance of mine for some years. As you might have assumed, things got pretty steamy under there. However, throughout the entire rendezvous, my boy-toy kept trying to lock his lips with mine. Every time I would comply, something inside me told me it wasn't right, so I would pull away and let the other under-the-cover activities ensue. After a few attempts, my annoyed partner for the night straightforwardly declared, "kiss me." I tried again. It didn't happen for me this time either. Well, long story short, the night ended on an unsatisfactory note. Although he tried his best (which was far less than average), my raging hormones and I rolled over and went to sleep. I thought to myself, "maybe next time."
Well, next time came a few weeks later. My heart was still aching for my Cheating Prince Charming, but my hormones were protesting loud and hard. This time I decided I'd give a boy I had known for a fairly short few months a try. Although I wasn't at all attracted to him, I knew he really, really liked me. Perhaps a boy that really, really liked me would be able to calm my hormones. Well, he tried his best, but it wasn't his fault that he wasn't born with tools large enough to my liking. Once again, long story short, after I pathetically faked an orgasm to get it over with, he wanted to cuddle and kiss. Building up to the act, I knew what I wanted and had no problem engaging in some lip locking, as long as it would eventually lead to the big O. Well, after the unsuccessful attempt, I naturally could not bring myself to want to kiss him. In fact, I just wanted him to leave right then and there. To avoid offending the already deprived man, I slyly curled up into a spooning position with my back towards him so I wouldn't have to kiss him. After a few minutes, I made an excuse and told him it was time for him to leave.
These experiences, although attempts to both help me move on and to satisfy my human desires (don't judge me), in fact only left me feeling even more frustrated and with an even deeper longing for my Cheating Prince Charming. And that's when I realized the deeper meaning behind the act of kissing.
We use our mouth to communicate and to feed ourselves, two of the most important aspects of the human experience. The mouth is perhaps the most erogenous part of our bodies located so close in distance to our brain. It was after I tried to kiss boys that had no meaning to me that I realized just how much meaning a kiss can hold. My "lady parts" were the areas of my body that were screaming with restless hormones, but my mouth was waiting to taste and give to someone that meant something to me. After all, we wouldn't use our mouth to eat something that we do not like, and we wouldn't use our mouth to express a thought we do not possess.
And so I've learned my lesson. A kiss is not ultimately just a locking of lips, exchanging of saliva, and testing of one another's taste buds. Rather, my mouth is more of a doorway leading down my esophagus and into my soul. Therefore, the next time my hormones want to be relieved, I will have to acquire permission from my mouth first.
- Rubina K.
Please Note: The opinions expressed by the author of the article are not necessarily the opinions of BILLO Magazine.